Exercise & Lifestyle

My Struggle with Exercise

One of the first things I learned when I attended diabetes education sessions (many, many years ago) was that exercise was an important part of management and control of blood glucose levels. But in order to make exercise successful, I had to find something I really liked doing; otherwise it would become a tedious task I just wouldn’t stick to. That turned out to be some kind of omen, and I’m trying to break it.

I was always an active child. I was into sports like tennis and volleyball; I also liked swimming, and when I was in college I played some soccer. Once I reached adulthood and my first clinical depression episode happened, I was just too tired all the time. I don’t remember when was the last time I did some kind of sport activity on a regular basis, but I do remember how wonderful I felt and how well my diabetes behaved when I decided to join the gym… and that was a first for me.

I hate gyms; I hate the culture of gyms, probably because I’m misinformed. I don’t want anyone to see my body giggling on that treadmill, and I certainly don’t want to play Barbie. I feel out of place at a gym, which is ironic considering I’m the kind of person who obviously could benefit the most from it. But I long for those days when I got out of work and went for my evening work out, and then I got home feeling great, took a shower, watched re-runs of ER and fell asleep. I don’t remember ever feeling so good about myself. What bigger proof do I need to understand that discipline is the way to achieve things? Why don’t I do it again?

A few years ago, I got a bicycle I had so much fun riding and then life happened. Now the bike is collecting dust and I feel guilty but I don’t do anything about it. However, guilt is not going to take me anywhere and instead of wondering why I don’t stick to an exercise routine, I should just start… that’s always the hardest part. Lack of motivation is what usually gets me… that’s what happens when you deal with chronic depression, but it’s a vicious cycle I’m able to break because I know who I am. I just have to do it.

I know I don’t like to run. But I do love bicycling and swimming. And of course walking. I need to stop making excuses, “It’s too cold,” “It’s too hot,” “It’s too late…” Where does one find that kind of motivation?

Share this...
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedIn

1 Comment

  1. Brooks

    Hi Bea, thanks for writing this. There seem to be very few T2 voices on the internet, so I wanted to comment just to let you know you are being heard and appreciated.

    I was able to get into the habit of regular exercise when I figured out how to work exercise into my daily routine. I started riding my bike about ten years ago, and even though I loved to ride it was still difficult to set aside time to ride. Eventually I set my mind to working out how I could ride the bike as part of my daily commute to and from work. That task alone required motivation, but I was able to figure it out and now ride my bike nearly every day.

    This of course won’t work for everyone.

    But maybe it is the key, seek some way to work exercise into your daily routine, then it becomes second nature and not something that takes extra effort or motivation.

Comments are Closed

Theme by Anders Norén